So as it turned out I had some issues that needed to have surgery for. I remember going into the consult with my husband and asking the doctor if we could try again? It was no problem after surgery as long as we were careful! So one week later I went into surgery. Everything went great and I booked my follow up in two weeks. So the day of the follow up came. Once again we wanted t make sure we could try to have another baby. The doctor said absolutely.....you are already pregnant!!!!
I was so very careful during that pregnancy, physically that is. In that time my husband left the military and we moved again. But because I was careful physically I once again wasn't burning what I was taking in. It was a very hard time. I remember being miserable.
One week after my second daughter was born I became extremely ill. I couldn't get out of bed. I had a constant fever of 104 for a month. I couldn't take care of my family. No doctor could figure out what was going on. Finally after a month and a half...they found something. My potassium was critically low and I was severely dehydrated. I was given a high dose of potassium to take and several bags of fluid. My fever broke, and I felt 100 times better in one day! But my body ached for months because I was in bed for a whole month and two when your potassium is low your body takes it from your muscles. It took several months to do things and it not cause pain. By that time I was 210.lbs. I was struggling with depression again because of being so sick. My kids no longer ran to me when they needed something they ran to their daddy. It broke my heart. Little by little I tried to pull myself out of that hole.
Next we bought our very first house! Super exciting time in your life. ALSO super stressful. My husband started to HATE his job. The promises that we were promised were never delivered. The amount he was working was insane. He was never home. When he was home there was so much to try and cram in that small amount of time. I felt like he was never there and he felt like he never had any alone time. This is when my husband really started to become addicted to WoW. Well we were on board a sinking ship, because the company went back on its promises it became clear we need to sell our house and get out of Colorado! On top of that my first daughter Charlee was going through testing at the Denver Children's hospital (if she bumped her head or someone pulled her hair *even by brushing* her eyes would roll back in her head and become rigid and fall over) So the stress was insane.
We were thrown a life line from the company that my husband still works for. They offered him double what we were making...the catch.....move to the east coast. Not bad. But we had bought a brand new "cookie cutter" house in a development that was still well...developing! You can't compete with them while trying to sell a house. So in the hole we went....we certainly couldn't afford to stay there!
Charlee was diagnosed with white pallid attacks. We had to be careful and all we could do was lay her flat on the floor and wait one min. for her to start to breath. So good news Charlee would be ok...but waiting a min for your child to breath...what do I do if she doesn't ....call 911. (Thank God I have never had to do that!) So away to Virgina we went!!!
Through all the stress and craziness that happened in that year I didn't lose weight I gained. I still never allowed myself to lean on my husband. I was supported by food. I kept telling myself that I wasn't that over weight.


So we got to Virgina! We were excited to live in driving distance of our family! Rick was a WoW-a-holic. I was once again pregnant. (Yes I know what causes that) ....Everything was ok ( I could have done without WoW) but at least Rick was "at home" or in the same building as his family.I had my third daughter. Ricky was in kindergarten. So I had three little ones at home with me and was feeling still lost. The light came blaring on in my husband mind. He got out of WoW (best day of my life) we moved to a bigger house. Things were great there. I bet you can't guess what happened next.....
Yep pregnant AGAIN! This time I was so so tired Rick got home from work at 3pm, I went to bed literally at 4pm and got up at 7am to get Ricky off to school. I didn't watch what I was doing and I wasn't moving. I was 270lbs. when my son was born!!!!
We moved one last time (our landlord was a little nuts at the other place) We love it here! Our kids love it here. We are done having babies! Yes life is still stressful but I have now taken steps to fix myself. I started on antidepressants. They helped me see my life clearly and started changing the things that I didn't like about myself. It was so easy to blame my husband and everyone else for my own stupidity. I never talked to him and never told him what I needed or wanted. I put that into practice. I started to defend myself and not being a door mate. Then something just "clicked" I hit the gym......I joined curves!

A marriage is always changing and if you want it to work then you have to change with it. I am happy to say I am happy in my marriage, in myself...not only as a mother but as a partner and wife and just with myself.